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The androgynous platypus, is natures “Fuck You”!!  
01:26am 01/04/2008
adjustments galore. finally moving out tomorrow, which has been along time coming. The house is in good shape, dated, but in good shape. 3 bedrooms, and 2 bathrooms, a huge back yard etc. etc.

a good find, due to the landlords being alittle wary of renting it out to people. total rent is 910 a month. Electicity isn't going to be that much for a while, and when winter comes around i should have enough wood stocked up for the fire place.

i feel like its all some fucked up joke on me, being that i'm moving in on april fools day. the fear of a bad joke lingers in my mind like a bad dream. As if some how after i move in, Don becomes a demented talk show host, and cameras pop out of nowhere and yet everywhere. a gameshow host type a suit (eye raping flair)flies and forms on to Don, while he tears a fake patch of skin under his nose to reveal a 70's game show host mustache. he then announces that i have to live with a schizophrenic monkey cuffed to my left arm. the monkey wouldn't hit me but rather try to stab and kill me with it's collection of carnie and hobo (like there's that much of a difference) knives. i die soon after, to a sad horn instromental and the credits roll.
as sad as it is, i'd watch that show.

In actuality it was worth the hermit life because it helped with the saving of money, and i'm gonna make it all pay off.

that is the intention, lets just hope the will keeps on point.
my money's on the monkey.
mood: happy to be hoppinhappy to be hoppin
music: brand new cadillac-Clash; charity case-gnarls barkley; square1 here i come-HIVES
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my geekery knows no bounds  
10:17pm 13/03/2008
so things that i've been geeking over:

guitar hero 2 and 3--working through hard mode. the rolling bars still haunt my dreams, just like every person that ends up playin that game as well as rock band

rock band --working through hard mode and learning to sing and play fake-itar for the hives, ramones, and clash tracks. dan likes to do his nathan explosion inmpersination on most of the tracks. funny as hell when he does it too, cause we rarely finish the songs.

mass effect--not done finishing the game, but i like if so far. i do wish they had more people in the cities and bases, but thats my only real complaint so far

the terminator: the sarah connor chronicles-- pure badassery. anyone who puts kevlar in their sitting furniture on the off chance that there will be a gun fight, is an instant bad ass. but there is one question: who's the bigger baddassssss sarah connor or H.R.G.-noah bennet from heroes?

heroes volume two-- was ok. the multi love story angles was alittle bit too much, started to end up as a late night soap opera. i just really hope they pick things up right and actually start explaining some important things, and not end up like (as i've stated before) x-files or Lost. i hope they find a direction to take it, preferably in a direction that doesnt suck. thats all i ask, and to give some of the characters actual intelligence, more on the common end.

human weapon-- as opposed to fight quest. one reason is that on human weapon they dive alittle more into the history of the martial art and center more on the individual move sets. which is better for me and my writing and drawing. i can now be alittle more accurate in my descriptions and storyboards. it reads like i know what i'm talking about.

and so on and so on.

dave is still asking me about doing some hip hop with him. he wants to try and perform this summer. should be interesting, that is if it happens. i shot him a list of twelve tracks that we could do. just title tracks, so he can get the theme of what kinda stuff i'm into.
since i'm not so much into hip hop, that might be a problem, at least a challenge. some track ideas are/where: speghetti chunks and ghetto crunk, fad hag, twisted tales, and extended appologies-an outro.

i've been helping a few friends move alot this month which was kinda fun, cause i know that i got a couple weeks before i have to start moving all my stuff aswell. but i figure that i can get it myself, since i had to load that whole damn storage shed by myself. i don't have a whole lot of stuff to move, since i had to get rid of my grandmothers couch. too god damn big to move anywhere; like the place that i stayed at for a couple of days before the shit hit the fan. oh well.

don/ny and jeremiah are in a group now too. dons going to be playing the keyboards for them. thier first gig is at the speak easy--next friday at 9 or 9:30. I'll end up going, since i get off work at that time. he couldn't really explain the sound of the group too well, he just chopped it up to a black crows-ish, easy listening music. so i'm expecting "college rock". but with a beer in my hand, i can get into just about anykind of music thats played live.

well i get to call my future landlord tomorrow and give him my rental application. oh shit and its payday! which is automaticly a good day.
location: home, for now
music: silence is golden, but duct tape is silver--AAA and others
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amy crackhouse is a hack  
10:24pm 01/03/2008
i hate that bitch with a passion of a thousand thetons. i know its odd to hate someone you've never even met, but welcome to my world.

anyways i am going to be don's new room-mate, as of april 1st. should be cool, three bedroom and two bath, with a huge backyard. really looking forward to breaking out of the apartment housing situation, not to mention living at home.

friendset 6 mach3 alpha gorilla, or whatever you officially call it when you drift from groups of peers to another set after a period of time, is going well. driving down bailey hill is fun, and you can get a great view of the city.

things with my grandma's death went exactly how i thought it would. given that i am only gonna be on the comp for about 10 more minutes im not going to go over everything. but it sucks and legal action is being taken against my aunt. Neglegence and so forth.

the job is a job and thats about that.

and now (after a cew interuptions from my phone) i got to go.
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with a heart bigger than her family...  
10:21pm 20/11/2007
my grandmother, kathleen past away at 7:24 this evening.
she was with family at the time of passing. my dad and I were the first ones to the hospital.
i was sitting right next to him as the nuero surgeon spelled it out to us. she had a stroke do to a hemoridge in her head. due to her blood pressure meds (bloodthinners) in her system, it caused the hemoridge to expand at a faster rate.
it was inopperable. "just a matter of time".

she was a strong, independant woman with a heart bigger than her family. a heart larger than many of the people i know (especially now-a-days).

the memories seem to flood in one after the other, i dont know where to start right now.
she was to me as what my parents are to justin and dakota (nephew and niece). i spent alot of my youth with my grandmothers. my grandfathers both passed before i was born.
so i never really had that sort of person in my life as far as grandfathers go (probably why i always get stuck talking to random people along the way in this life, so i can pass my knowledge down the proverbial line. but who knows.) but they both were major parts of my life. helped shaped me into the person (man) i am, and still becomming.

kathleen in general taught me how to be a genuine person, and just try to help whenever possible, what ever the cost. her heart had a home for every living thing (in her world) that was in need of care.

she lived an ordinary life with extra-ordinary values, and spirit.
i am going to miss her, and her guidance through my own life.

funny how some things (like this situation) seem to hit you harder when you're alone.
i never shedded a tear. while everyone else's face were welted with them.

right now i have to use my "buffer" status to help get what needs to be done, as far as burial rites. i'm the family mediater, so to say. i can get through the bicker arguements and talk to each side. though the family never really talks to each other, they all seem to talk to me (in the one on one -see grandfather tidbit).

i dont want this event to tear my dads (and mine) family apart even more than it is. these things should help make the connection stronger. but things like that rarely come to fruition. but i still hope and will do my part to make it that way.
right now my brain is frazzled and in shock. so i think i'll end here.
i will post a self served post another day.
^--poor attempt at humor
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son of a bitch...  
10:05pm 26/09/2007
woke up kinda late for work. At the irving and river rd intersection my jeep dies out.
i hurry to push it to the shell station. in the middle of it i turn back to see a stranger helpin me out. we get it parked up next to the side of the station.
he looks at it for a while and asks me if i need a ride. his wife pulls up next to us, and asks what the sitch is. blah blah blah, they offer to take me to work. which was pretty cool.

they drop me off about 25 minutes late-which i really didn't care about.
i thanked them and we parted ways.

as soon as i started work it was hell. we had four different supervisors and what have you from different stores walking around and taking up space. my boss wants me to do as much cleaning and what not as possible. turned out to be a busy day-go figure-do i got done as much as i could.

got off work (my mother picked me up-thankfully) and when i got home me and my dad went to go get the jeep at the shell. we hitched it up to the (his) truck and towed it home. My phone was dropped off by DHL and i spent 10 minutes activating it.

so tomorrow i got to call a mechanic and try to figure what is up with it and when i can get it in to get looked at.

and i was lookin forward to friday.

whydoes it feel like i have posted something like this before....cause i have...dumbass
***directed at myself -not the reader

on the good tip, i got my cell phone back and it's all activated and shit.
still the same number. though i have lost all the numbers that were stored on my old phone.
unless i go deep sea fishing. nah that wouldn't work either, unless........

***on a side note the greg graffin solo album (lead vocalist from bad religion) "cold as the clay"
is surprisingly, really good. favorite tracks would be omie wise, highway, and talk about suffering. his voice flows nicely in the country folk songs, and with the help of the weakerthans the music is melodic and hypnotic at times (sorry for the lame rhyme). it can easily be played in a contemporary mix with the likes of johnny cash, bob dylan, arlo guthrie; and so on, and so on.
music: i fought the law-dead kennedy's, catch hell blues-white stripes etc. etc.(random
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i'm an idiot  
09:02am 19/09/2007
went to the coast last night after work.
some friends and i went down to the south jetti.
i dropped my cell phone somewhere along the beach.
ran around like an idiot trying to find it.
no such luck.
so now my phone is somewhere in the pacific ocean---go figure.

gotta go get a new one before work.

fare thee well old friend, i hope your voyage into the ocean makes a wo/man out of you.
--couldnt tell what sex my phone was--and i never bothered to check

fuckin idiot
music: the measure of monk-thelonias monk
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a lunar eclipse...  
03:04am 05/09/2007
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fun with photoshop.
--picture of moon Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket, two different images of fire taken from coast campfire composited together Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket , Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket.
-blah blah blah

stayed up last week to catch the eclipse. tracked it with a telescope and my camera.
got some nice footage-though i wish i had a higher quality camera.
it couldnt pick up the dark orange that well, in the later stages of the eclipse.

missed the meteor shower -or that is to say that when i went outside -i saw: jack and shit.

work is work
life is life and
all is well.

---we all have a need to believe in, or root for something in our life. sports team, marriage, the return of jesus.
-i'd rather believe in myself
--some might say "it's about time"...
mood: less frustratedless frustrated
music: if you leave before me-mike ness, take the reins-tsunami bomb, nonono-Yyy's
tags: your it
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excellent fuel->  
11:03pm 20/08/2007
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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

--i post this, to remind myeslf to keep working on it...a reminder of what else i could be doing besides surfin the net.
need to break the procrastination
-it's my sticky pad and this is my fridge.
location: home
mood: reminiscent
music: see post
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and just like a william shatner monologue...the point was lost...  
02:05am 07/08/2007
things are odd.
i usually get that way when i'm in intensive writing.
which i've been doing alot. granted i do hop around alot, basically what/if anything i learn in life-or experience anything new i jot down. then i'll go over notes or create new pages.

why the hell do i think so much and do so little?
where the hell did all my confidence go?
alot's been on my mind...and i need to vent...there's no one there, just like here
i work my self up on day to day bullshit and cant focus on my future -school wise.
dont know if i should just go to work, and i'm not sure that i'll be anygood in school.
i know i should just give it a chance. again. but i have a strong feeling that what ever happens outside of my life in school will cause me to drift off. lose my focus.
but i need to go.
time to shit or get off the toilet.
---its a daily struggle

my cousin paulette's husband (Tim) died friday night. he was in the same company as eric was.
funny guy, damn good cook, great father, and the list goes on. i didnt know him that well, but well enough to know he was "one of the good ones".

he died in a car wreck up in washington-i dont know the city/town.
my cousin was in california -with the kids- visiting family. mainly her dad, who's been fighting the dialasis machine. so she's having a shitty week.

My aunt susanna has fucked over my grand mother. i don't know the whole ordeal- but appearantly my grandmother has to be out of her house by the end of the month. My grandmother still owns the house that susanna lives in-so she's gonna evict her.

i think the problem is cause susanna ran her disabled taxi service from my grandmothers house.
ran it into so much debt that they have to take the house.
i wonder how this will play out...

in the end what will they say about my life....i bet its a roaring cascade of silence...
tombstone reads:
nothing lasts forever...and if it tries i'll be there to chop it's head off.
-Puzzled faces look over it, and leave in frustration. quoting "he never took life seriously" while they shake their heads.
they'd be right-gotta admit that.
mood: that monkee's on my back againthat monkee's on my back again
music: mornin rage-UNKLE, infested-choking victim,
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(no subject)  
12:55am 05/08/2007
Well I lost my shirt in vegas
Lost the woman I adored
I was just about to cash in my chips
When I heard the word of the lord
He told me something I remember to this day
He said everyday's a Broderick?
You don't owe it anything
And with every roll of the game with the dice
Is a whole new game of chance
And now I know
Just one thing for sure
Way of life
Is one big gamble
It Can cut you

like a knife
Hit me just
Once more, jesus
With the black jack
game of lies

The blackjack game of lies

Got a rulete wheel that keeps spinning
With stacks I can't control
Well I bring on the whole jackpot
Well I win without my soul

But now I know i got one thing on my side
There ain't no telling what you've done
What I be throwin at you
but I got jesus on my side
And the glow in the dark statue

But now I tried enough
He says to me
He says

(Go back to that way of life part)

First verse repeated
Chorus repeated
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i've never met so many people that like to raw dog hot dogs...its quite disturbing  
10:39pm 31/07/2007
went to donny's bifthday bbq party.
not that bad-had fun, didn't know a whole lot of people there. Stephanie fladiger (don't care if i spelt her name wrong) was there. for those who don't know-she's basically a eugene version of a dallas cowboy cheerleader--very hot-but the meats gone bad. anyways she saw my tattoo on my arm and asked if i was in prison. cause thats the only reason that i would have a tattoo on my arm. anyways i told her i was in a psyche ward in arizona and when i broke out i got the tattoo cause it reminded me of a spider in my holding cell.

i love fuckin with people.

guitar hero 2 is way too adictive. it makes your fingers hurt just like playin a real guitar--but with out the bleeding.

working at the deli is all right. i was asked by co-workers if i would eat some "head-cheese". i had no idea what they were talking about- so i asked them if it was just some old lady's cooch. it wasn't...damn.
head cheese isn't cheese. if it is its the worst cheese they could ever make.
its basically small chunks of ham (or what ever's on the floor at the time) diced up and held together with hot-gun glue. with a dash of pepper. actually i would have eaten out an old lady than taste that shit again.

transformers was awesome--though i could do with out the love story-just add more city battles. the little minion sounded like an ewok mixed with a gremlin. and what happened to john voight and turturro in the bunker?
expect a couple more. deffinately better than pirates of the carribean (which i hope they dont make anymore of).

as of right now im lettin my mind wonder around while i work on some over due projects.
trying to work past some animation glitches and road blocks.
same ol same ol i guess.

how about you?
mood: only you can prevent forests!only you can prevent forests!
music: jeb rand is sailin on-bedouin soundclash, Shaktar donetsk-Joe and the mescaleros
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wicked castle  
03:45am 25/07/2007
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i was goin through old pics and images on my cam-corder
after some manipulating i drew the castle--just wanted to see what i could make it look like.
the background a solarized river, and accompanying light reflections. added and tweaked color-added ripple effects. i used the liguid filter and blended them all as to look like motion.

my kinda fun when bored.
mood: artisticartistic
music: shuffle
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The proper etiquette for pointless bitching... or... constantly in search for the next enemy  
01:26am 23/07/2007
Rant-omnitron 8

One passive insult that really gets me is the saying "that’s gay".
I can understand the youth shit lexicon. At that time we didn't know what the hell life had planned for us...just about every guy -not all, their is the lucky few- at some point... Will have to get a tiny camera inserted in their ass, and there's nothing "gayer" than that...well maybe if the camera decorated the cavity on its turbulent travel.
You can trick yourself into thinking its called a "medical exam" but your really just describing the backdrop -if you were to tape it- it would probably turn out to be a gay porn movie gone bad...the "Doctor" chimes in with "i think you have cancer"
Surprised they didn’t use that for a "Very Special" queer eye for he straight guy...
And if the doctor didn't find anything –I assume you automatically begin to question the relationship with your doctor and like any bad experience that’s caught on tape you’ll ask for him to burn the copy.
I guess never go to the proctologist that wears an open lab coat and a shiny head lamp that’s just a disco ball attached to a head band. I’ve never gone- but i think i would ask for a "rape" whistle. Just a precaution; I believe in safety first.
Women of course go through their own problems in life, "pap-smears"-basically from what i understand it’s like putting your vagina up in the "best of show" competitions.
That’s why most women can't get along- they know who has the prettier pussy -they carry a score card in their purses- i swear I’ve seen it.
Not to mention the one thing that happens at an early age is the menstrual cycle.
When even their bodies tell them to fuck off, just a basic core meltdown
I’m just saying, yeah I’d be a little cranky too- but at least I’d have a pair of titties to play with...

People love NASCAR because its family oriented, and it's a good environment to have kids around- really? Am i getting this straight?
A bunch of people watching and waiting for others to get into car-wrecks while they travel at ludicrous speeds...that's a moral?
Wasn't it Jeff Gordon who got pelted with beer bottles?
I’m assuming they threw what ever they had next to them, or where carrying in their hand that very moment...i guess he's just lucky he wasn't shot for that matter.
Maybe an inbred child, as if it were some sort of redneck baby lottery/- redneck version of a Japanese card game. "This one’s only got one eye brow cleft, and 13 toes" "god damnit, you beat me". The ugliest baby is transferred to a new family.
We can grow a clone version of bob barker to host it...and their will be bob barker clones why else would he want all of u to spay and neuter our pets; it's because he's going around collecting them; in a diabolical plan to be the only game show host on television...

But just to have that as an outcome situation -when you’re basically "on the job"? I don’t consider it a sport; it’s more like an exhibition. If the car was alive- then yeah it would be a sport. It’s just driving around in a giant circle for about 2-6 hours -that’s still a bit much for what they do as a career, hell you don't pelt down the pizza guy when he gets there early with the pizza you ordered, do you? I could see if they were about to do a "granny shakedown", then i would agree with the use force. Help the guy put her out of her misery.
I must apologize, about the last comment, i am not an advocate of elderly abuse- but i have thought about it. It’s naturally equivalent to "road rage".
Just a basic anger thought. We all have them.

I was a pizza delivery driver for a while- i never once had that infamous porn incident.
Not in the land of concerv-a-hippies. The most you get are running naked babies, just running freely through out the house. The ones born to be a streaker…of course no one wants to see the baby pause, look up with that sudden "urgent" look on their face, while they relieve themselves all over the floor.
-True story- i once saw a toddler take a shit behind a laZboy. I turned and looked at the mother, and all she had to say was "yeah, sometimes he does that".
How as a parent can you actually let that go on? Are you trying to create a family of random shitters?
Or maybe its proof that some rednecks -like their natural enemy the "gays"- are born not raised. And yes gay people can be raised; we just call them "metro-sexuals".

We're all living in a false sense of status... there is no picture perfect society. There never will be- not in our progressing timeline, and i use the words progressing timeline as an insult.
It can’t happen when we all continue to be willing subjects of commercialization. I fall for the shit too, no ones exempt in this. They (marketers and advertising executives) prey on the one of the most natural reaction we have... and that's when shit goes bad we all want something to make us feel a little better. We would rather kill ourselves off then help each other out, it’s just that simple.
Our race is that of ineptitude, willing to slowly annihilate itself off, not to mention the planet in the name of convenience. Technology is one of those cruxes -it's new and shiny and you don't have it. Cell Phones are the new symbol of status judgment. We rate each other on how much we have, "how many things can your toy do"?

There are positives and negatives everywhere you look, in all shapes and shades of life.
Example: the homeless are increasing -but at least someone’s' around and willing to recycle our bottles and cans, and eat our left over food.

Thinking these things can make some-one go sick...but they are thoughts that should be raised up in conversation, if not then what the hell is the point of communicating?
If we can't get together and talk things out and reach some sort of conscious about how to solve our problems, to better ourselves as a race...then we should all just cut out our tongues, cause this constant brag battle of an existence is getting us nowhere...

I guess I’ll end with this:
Sometimes we need a zephyr of inspiration to help us when we're low or when we don't want to hassle with the outside world, and with that warm breeze, anything seems possible...
Just remember to bring your shotgun incase it turns into a zombie!
mood: i could go on...and on...i could go on...and on...
music: run your pockets LP-No Cash, new maps of hell-Bad Religion
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O bailan todos o no baila nadie  
02:29pm 13/07/2007
well i'll be going to go see social distortion in a couple hours.
should be a fun show.
work is going well
despite the fact that i might lose my job
long story short- manager doesn't like me cause i called her on some sanitary issues.
turned it around and told the store manager i was being insebordinate.
which could have gotten me fired on the first offense.
but everyone who works there stuck up for me.
--its like a lame streetgang/mob dispute... and like usual i'm stuck right in the middle.
i probably wont lose my job but just get switched to another department.

monday an old lady of 97 collapsed in front of the counter, and i had to call 911.
they came help her regain conscienceness and she finished her shopping and then drove home.
some people i tell ya...
it was deffinately awkward-but in a wierd way kinda expected.

gotta pick up the jeep tomorrow-got a new distributor and starter for it.
so it looks like G's premonition from back in the day just might come to fruition.
--when i first got a car he said that he always pictured me driving a jeep.
go fig...

heres a pic for the next track i'll be doing with dave:
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will georgia kill an innocent man?
why not it's not exactly the first. sure as hell wont be the last.

well time to go cash my check, and finish off my southern comfort before the show.

on another note
lemon cake is good...

did i just type "yummers"?
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what you saying now baby?  
04:03am 04/07/2007
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mood: never ceases to amaze menever ceases to amaze me
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red white and blue--just in time for the 4th  
11:03pm 30/06/2007
recorded and finalized last night.
it started in a flash -as soon as dave heard the guitar
of the 101ers steamgauge 99.

my verses:
Exhausted with the corruption that reigns the streets
With a Texan retard in the driver seat
There are secret prisons all along the bay
So what do ya say? “Let’s throw a parade”!
A fresh grown commodity; to sell oppression over seas,
While the third world bleeds, ‘cause the moral majorities
Force feed and preach their banalities, while the fat lady sings.
I gotta confess, this topics got me obsessed, and I need protest against
The voices I detest. And as for the rest,
Thinking that they’re blest and they’re livin a life a little repressed.
Congressional lies lead to nuclear skies, it’s what we call a slow demise
And the history books will have it revised, every things fine
Just like it’s advertised.

Then dave
Then chorus
Then me again

I’m hear to rock ya like a clash city rocka
Gonna start some action, a reaction in a lyrical fashion
The border patrol is ready to roll
And somewhere along the way we lost control
Everything that corrupts turns to gold
When our freedoms lost (what?) bought and sold
This is how I resist against this human conflict
Don’t feed me your shit, ‘cause it makes me sick
The corporate foundation is built on assassination
With the consolidation of our own extinction
The faith based initiatives to destroy all those in opposition
Like the mad hatter, I’m hear to serve “reality” on a silver platter
But we march on waving our flags
And our biggest export is body bags

Chorus and ending breakdown

--it was a deffinate blast.
hellsa fun to make. and the only real reason to do this stuff.
i sure as hell aint gonna perform this yet.
but for the second track i did the best i could with the tempo

since my voice aint the greatest, i just try to make what ever i'm saying
have some valid point (mine-haha), and at least entertaining.
and borrowing from where we did, i felt pressured to get that point across.
i put as much effort as i could and managed to surprise myself.

they're other track; filthy dirty
its sets the stage for all the racks that will follow.
laid back, but in your face
and margy's voice is completely groovin. a grave yard lounge act.
her tone remind me of the "four rooms" soundtrack.

for the techies=
dave rolls with a mo-phat sampler, a roland phantom x-6
an alesias (dont know what model), sample discs, a 6/or8 channel mixer
all run through cake-walk.
--in other words-not alot-but just enough
mood: sittin back drinkin raidsittin back drinkin raid
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A1 Mesquiete Coffee, House Coffee That Will Serve You An Ass Kicking Every Morning!  
10:19pm 27/06/2007
-Comes With The Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick of Approval!

the etiquette of pointless bitching...in another post

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music: Icky thump-album=White Stripes
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watching life in silence-that is the life of the sword.  
01:27pm 21/06/2007
things are going pretty well with this new job.
im picking up extra hours at the 18th and chambers albertsons.
the butcher block there is alot smaller, but with alittle more fredom to make displays.
yesterday i made a catfish marinade that didn't last very long. people would stop by and try it out, and of course talk my ear off. so i guess it was a hit.
the manager there wants to steal me from the other store, and likes my work ethic.

the other store is on royal and danebo.
the main store i work at. every one is really cool there too. but everyone likes to complainabout sonia. the manager of the butcher block there. she's alright, you just got to get past the constant storytopping. and the overly persistant "you know what im saying" (with out the gangsta accent) after everything she tells you.

so when i go back on friday, i think i'm going to play around with what i can make and put some new stuff on display. i'm just glad that we don't have the "roadshow" this weekend.
the roadshow is a satilite station we set up in the very front of the store. which i had to work last weekend, basicaly its a glorified "greeter" position. it was boring as hell.
other than that things are going decent in my life.
finally feels like i was able to get that Karmic kick me sign off my back. and beat the shit out of the shoulder monkey that put it there in the first place.

been working out,and stopped smoking (pot and cigarettes) which some will find quite amazing. its all part of bettering myself. ditching all those cruxes that i clamped on to has made me realixe alot about my history. i do know that i am more driven than i have ever been. and i'm not going to let things (my own actions-importantly) drag me down anymore. i know i can do alot with my life, and its time to see just how far and how much i can actually do. even if i dont go anywhere, at least i'll have the comfort of knowing i gave it an honest shot.

i'm enjoying the single life, no outside hassles is really nice. i'm not even looking for any real attachment or "fling". right now i'm in a place to test myself. i've let soo many things distract me from completing things i always wanted to do. alot of the distractions were of my own making. others where just the way it had to go.

so i'm testing myself, finding my own potential, and driving myself to follow through with alot of my plans that i have/had set up for myself. school will deffinately help me achieve what i want to do. photography, writing courses, tv and film production are just some of the classes i look forward to taking. it's gonna take a few years but i need to learn all this stuff if i want any sort of chance at progress.

agian i find myself goin over my scripts for:
blue note detective
end of the dead
and death letter
i still find room for improvement. so before i rashly send them out to various formats i think i'm going to take my time and polish them as much as i can. i have said before that i was gonna send them out, but i dont think theyre ready, and i know that i am not to boot. with all honesty they can wait till i'm ready with the knowledge to see them come to fruition.

damn it i just realized i left my cell phone at work.
well it looks like i gota go get it.
son ofa B
mood: dumb enough to keep tryingdumb enough to keep trying
music: the raconteurs-bbc sessions, trust-kmfdm
    Read 1 - Post - - Link
**lyrics to a song i've been feelin all day  
09:37pm 12/06/2007
**-since i listened to it earlier today. after post.

things have been good, sunday night don and i went to see "mr.brooks". william hurt and costner played off unexpectedly well together. dane cook was in a role that anyone could have realy played. there was only one part i didn't like and that is the last shoot-out in the movie. demi moore shoots out the flourescent lights in the hallway, and as they flicker on and off, lame guitar techno starts playin. it seemed really out of place. everything else was good.
but i'd wait till it got on dvd, or cheap theatres

been listening to just about as much different kinds of music i can find.
espescially after listening to the Future is unwritten-soundtrack.
need to expand my lyrical and subconcience vernacular data-base. so to say.

(In the) Pouring Rain

I could see as I rode in
the ships were gone and the pit fell in
a funeral bell tolled the hour in
a lonely drunkard slumbering

not the twang of the guitar
not even the siren wail of pain
not the shadows of desire
caught in the pouring pouring rain

breeze black windows on date street
where I was raised up on the cheap
(yeah, say!) ask no questions work and sleep
'til the old tango that's on date street

I can hear the sharpen of the pain
some lucky stranger in the rain
hear the sharpen of the rain
lucky stranger ... in the rain

hammers beat in dusty times
on these weedy rusted lines
mocking the sun and optomistic signs
all these weedy gates of iron

the sun won't shine my way again
lucky moon was on the wane
oh I'll never see a star again
in the pouring pouring rain

a salty band played for the train
a sad trombone and some refrain
the future pointed to the weather vane
the old calypso died of shame

I hear the sharpen of the pain
some lucky stranger in the rian
hear the sharpen of the pain
lucky stranger pouring rain

mood: gonna hit ya withgonna hit ya with
music: something phantasmic and graphic
    Post - - Link
08:28pm 10/06/2007
if i cant write down my own thoughts in this "journal"
then what the hell is the point of having one?

i was being passive aggressive cause i didnt want to name names.
if i have to i could be whole hell alot of aggressive.
but i dont/try not to get that way with friends.

id rather try and talk shit out, and get past it.
music: at the edge-stiff little fingers
    Post - - Link

My shoes hurt!
news for the newsies
Rip the system and throw it away
a peaceful cirlce
Like tobasco to an open wound
trashed and fuckin slashed
conscience of the currents
think you're fuckin funny?
flaggen of chuckles
a cause
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